The Underdog

Neville is the ultimate underdog.

I've had quite a few story ideas bouncing around in my head lately. They aren't really fleshed out novels or anything, but they are ideas I would like to cultivate and think through. Stories I would like to slowly - and cautiously - begin, and see where they end up taking me.

Several of these ideas revolve around underdog characters. No, it's not a new genre by any stretch, but it's one that's always fascinated me. And honestly, doesn't it fascinate most of us? Didn't you secretly root for Neville Longbottom or Samwise Gamgee every once in awhile, just because you knew they would always live in the shadows of others? And when those people did something right, didn't you feel a giant wave of excitement. That's it! He proved himself! He'll be the popular one now! Or.... not.

Well, there are a few of these character types I'd like to explore. Some of them aren't even particular underdogs, they are just secondary characters I would like to take further. Archetypes I'd like to explore.

And then there's... Sam.

One author in particular made quite a living out of this mindset. Gregory Maguire has written a whole series of these books, and many people seem to like the story. To be honest, I tried to start Wicked and was instantly bored, which worries me about the fate of my tales. However, I don't aim to make such blatant statements as "Zombie Baby from Dawn of the Dead." I just want to explore some ideas. Maybe for me more than anyone else, I'm not sure.

Anyhoo, maybe I'll try it, maybe I'm just talking about it. But for some reason these ideas have been rattling my brain for a week or more, so I thought it's time everyone else should know too.

Maybe, I'll just write about myself as the underdog. Because, of course, I've got super powers hidden in this body somewhere, just waiting to bust out like confetti.

Braaaaiiiiinnnn Food: What kind of story would you write if given the chance?

Midget Wrestling

So I attended my first midget wrestling event with some friends Saturday night, and laughed with the crowd as the Pint Size Brawlers commenced to staple each other's faces and pound each other into the ground. It was a fun time, and definitely an experience, but questions of moral conscience arise while one contemplates this event.

Is it ok to laugh at others for their shortcomings (haha) when they put themselves out there to be laughed at? Or should we still respect that they have a disability of sorts and shun the idea of laughing at their antics? Do we feel proud of them for overcoming adversity and making the best of their situation, or do we feel regret that this is the best they thought they had to offer?

All in all, I have no idea what Turtle, Midget the Psycho Clown and Adam Smalls were feeling, but they didn't seem too unhappy with themselves. In fact, they were loved by the crowd and were rockstars in their own rites. Surely more of a star than I will ever be.

Perhaps the ones we should really feel sorry for are the drunken girls looking to say that they kissed a midget. As my J-Bear points out while watching a girl make out with a midget after that small man just drank a pitcher full of pee (true story), "Sweetie, please don't ever let yourself be one of those girls." I think they are the losers in this scenario. Those poor girls, they weren't even funny. You just watched what they were doing and thought "how sad."

Somehow being a midget makes us find it cool that you make a public ass out of yourself. Funny how our minds work.

Braaaaiiiinnnn Food: Would you laugh at midgets wrestling, like I did?

Bodyguardin'

These kids aren't afraid to shoot.

So today I took an important first step in my little zombie's life: I took her to play laser tag.

Keep in mind that my midget is only four, so the vest is giant sized on her. In fact, as she's dragging her pack around, her sensor is literally down by her ankles Which makes me wonder how she actually managed to get hit so many times. Her three scores for the day (because we signed up for a triple play) were a proud -133, -33, and -47.

If only we were playing golf!

Actually it was a lot of fun and I'm proud that my little one doesn't care what her score is. However, there is a deep, underlying note of distress here. Clearly, my Bean has no idea how to defend herself in an attack.

I was doing my best to serve as her bodyguard. I followed closely behind her the whole time, and tried to clear a perimeter for the little girl to amble along slowly and safely. However, when she fails to remember to actually shoot at any of her opponents, its hard to make much headway. I was proud to see that after awhile she learned to duck behind doorways and the like, but she was still just a standing duck most of the time.

Of course, the fact that we were walking at a snail's pace, and that I was constantly reminding Bean to "shoot, shoot, shoot" didn't help dodge the lasers. My scores weren't too great either, but at least I was midrange each round.

I think that I need to plan a regiment of training to commence immediately. I know it's possible, I saw some 7 and 8 year olds who were familiar with the term "sniping" and who were taking people out. So I propose that we all start taking our children to the laser tag arena. Teach them how to hide, how to sneak, and how to shoot.

On the plus side, Bean knows to use the grates in the floor and the windows to try to find people. If only she remembered to fire at them once she found them. And to not shoot at herself in the mirror so much.

Seriously, I forgot how fun this is and I want to go back soon. Maybe just with my adult friends. Make teams, clear a perimeter, train ourselves up.

Who knows, it could lead to a more profitable future of survival.... maybe.

Braaaaiiiiiinnn Food: How do you teach little kids to play great and to play fair in a shooting arena?

Daydream Believin'

Yeah, she's sharing her dreams with
someone right now.

So after listening to my boyfriend (Yeah, I called him that... wonder if he'll notice.) describe this really vivid scene to me last night full of colors and wonder, I realized how cool it would be to have some sort of device or capability to be able to share our dreams with those of our choosing. I think this may have been done in a few movies before, though none come to mind beyond the slightly bizarre sex scene in "Demolition Man." Regardless, I would love to not just picture my own version of his landscape or imagination (which I would surely do first), but how awesome would it be if you could actually walk through the exact image they had created with them?



I know some can build this with words, others with paint, some with film. But this would be a different kind of intimacy. A new level of sharing. A chance to walk side by side in worlds of our own creation. People could make their own secret hideaways, their own private wonderlands, and then come back safely when it's all over.



Something like this could be your
special secret hideaway.

I'm no scientist by any means, but it certainly seems possible. Surely, when my dream of owning a holodeck comes true, we could probably use those for this purpose. But then again, a holodeck may require programming knowledge. This would be straight images from the brain. Wow.

All this being said, he described it so well I think I saw what he saw. But still. To be there with him. To share a dream? That's something special all on its own.

Braiiiinnnn Food: Would you want to (willingly) share your dreams with others, or is that too much loss of privacy?

Survivalism

These horses would probably trample me.

It's funny how one can be obsessed with the zombie apocalypse and at the same time be completely unprepared. I've been reading "Into the Wild" lately (a great book for anyone interested in real-life journies) and I realized that while the idea of leaving everything behind and living on the land is incredibly inticing, it's just not the road for me. For one, I kind of freak out a little if I can't wash my hair every day. Not that I'm some girlie girl, but I have thin hair that gets very greasy. And, for the record, if you touch me on the head when I think my hair is greasy, I'll probably want to hit you. Pretty hard.

At any rate, I realize this leaves me in a very poor position for an emergency situation. I can't tie knots. I don't know how to kill animals, and even if I did I wouldn't know what is safe to eat and what's not. I can't tell poisonous berries from nourishing ones. I can't take a twig, some tin foil, and a length of cord and McGuyver it into lodging.

This guy can survive anywhere, anytime.

In other words: I'm screwed.

I love to watch shows like Survivorman and I like to think I've learned a fair amount from these programs. However, do you really think I'm going to remember how to spark a battery into a fire if I find one in the middle of the Alaskan tundra? In fact, quite possibly the only fact I remember learning is that you can get sick from eating nothing but protein. I had no idea this is possible! Even if I could kill a deer, if I don't eat some fat and grass with it, I'm still a goner.

Oh boy.

I think, this year, I'm going to make a point of going into the woods a bit more. Taking some hikes, maybe even legitimately go camping. Take up archery. Learn to tie a good knot or two. Perhaps build a small survival kit for the house. And think about how to survive.

At least, I'll think about doing these things. It seems like a good idea.

In the meantime, I'll keep reading "Into the Wild" and see what I can gather. Definitely, don't eat bad berries. Check.

Braaaaaiiiinnnn Food: What do you think best prepares you for survival when our modern conveniences are stripped away from us?