Gaming for Idiots

This was the cover to last year's guide,
which probably has almost the exact same content.

While taking the little zombie to Toys R Us the other day to do some window shopping, I happily noticed a free "Gamers Guide" at the checkout counter, promising to tell me all about the hottest games this season.

What a load of lies.

This "guide" was written for idiot, newbie parents who somehow are able to remain clueless about their children's hobby. Literally, there was a section that defined terms like "boss", "AI" and "downloadable content." I can't imagine what rock there people might be living under that they don't know what a boss fight is. But apparently, there are enough of these people that an entire free guide needed to be published.

Inside parents can also learn about what systems are available (did their children not tell them?) and what ESRB ratings are and how to use them (against) your children. It talks about controllers, and - worst of all - offers no savings or coupons to speak of. Tsk tsk.

As far as the promise of going over the new games, even that wasn't true. It mentioned the new Zelda game, MW3, and the Disney Universe title, but that was it. Not once did I see Skyrim mentioned, and that's pretty big and can even be considered "kid friendly" if it's like Oblivion. (I've played it in front of my wee one.) No RPGs in sight, actually, which I find pretty surprising.

Oh well, so much for getting my hopes up. I remember a time when I was younger when Toys R Us was the place to go to browse games and see what's coming up. I already knew this moment was long past, but the Gamers Guide just showed me beyond a doubt that there's little to hope for going back to the old ways.

Braaaaiiiinnnn Food: What games do you consider to be the hot titles for the holidays?